Wednesday, November 25, 2015

What my teacher unintentionally taught.

Summing up the week, saree day went well and most importantly, it did not fall apart. My son is a big time fan of the saree because the Principal of his school wears it oh-so-elegantly every single day. He thinks she looks like a bride. Yes, Bride. Since he was born four years ago he must have seen a lot of brides by this time. His grandmothers have tucked their sarees to the top shelves and are flaunting their churidhars with chiffon shawls with much élan. All Indian dudes grow up to be total suckers of the saree, because a major part of their lives are spent watching others suffer – be it wearing a saree or in a labor room.

It is a fact that we all adore well-dressed teachers. Particularly in colleges where students are only physically present and are forced to focus their eyes on the teachers. My Mom was a teacher and she dressed immaculately every single day to college. She, being a fan of well ironed and tediously maintained cotton sarees, effortlessly gained respect from students and colleagues alike. A teacher who has a sartorial sense gains respect irrespective of her teaching abilities. Some others may not dress as well, but has good knowledge of the subject. Others are friendly and just let live. Then there is that fourth kind.

About that.

Image Courtesy: Here


So back in my Engineering days, most of our teachers were really young so they were fun and harmless. Then there was this lady, senior most in our department, short and stout, shrill, and always carries a ‘F you’ expression. She taught us that not all teachers deserve to be respected. Unfortunately, semester exams came every six months, and during the final classes of each semester, most of the staff used to get friendlier and wished us best of luck. Engineering exams are passed only by God’s grace which roughly translates itself as ‘luck’ in Layman terms. However, the lady in question begged to differ. She used to walk in on the last class before the exams and curse us. “You know what. I wish you guys don’t pass this semester. None of you. I will be here in my cabin and I want to see each one of you coming year after year to clear your arrears”.

I did not fabricate that sentence. These were the exact words spoken to us. Not once, but on multiple occasions. Most of us, far away from home, just needed a gentle push to keep going. A few words of kindness to keep ourselves afloat. In the case of this lady, if she hadn’t turned up at all, that would have been a big favor for us. However, she decided to do what no teacher should do under any circumstances.When I told this to my parents they couldn’t possibly believe what they were hearing. Even though I was capable of hating anyone who did not agree with me, they knew that it was beyond me to make this up. My Mom was literally shocked to know that anyone can talk like this, let alone a teacher. Just because someone is a ‘teacher’ according to the payroll of a college doesn’t mean she is one. 

Such people come into our lives for a reason. Now I know how a teacher should not behave. Some kids have shown me what my son should not grow up to become. Some have shown me that a degree in medicine does not make a Doctor. Some friends have taught me never to trust a single human being. Since I have been doing a lot of learning, I am exhausted. It is high time I start teaching a lesson or two.

Now, what do I teach? :-|


Sunday, November 8, 2015

Mission Diwali : Almost Impossible.

It is that time of the year again. Diwali is just round the corner and so is the mandatory saree day.

While everyone I know can’t wait for saree day to come, I have my own prejudices about it. The only reason I still wear it on Diwali day is that in the movie Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Shah Rukh Khan started romancing his lady after she started wearing sarees. Well, that is some solid reason for a die-hard fan to wear it right?  Secondly I am bored being normal and insignificant all year long, so here is a chance for people who haven’t noticed me before to get amused. Coming soon at the office in Muscat, the ultimate chance to watch in flesh and blood, the walking documentary of ‘HOW NOT TO WEAR A SAREE’. Thank you very much.

The reason I still resort to this impossible mission.
Image Courtesy: Here

I have never in my life rocked a saree look. On my wedding day, the saree was obviously heavy so when the stylist draped it around and put it accurately in place with around 86433 safety pins, it stayed put until evening. I will not attribute the massive success of that to the safety pins or the stylist, but to the saree whose weight made it stay. Saree falling apart on wedding day would have been a kind of a major setback for the dignity of my family. Anyway blessings followed us on that day and beyond because neither the saree nor the marriage fell apart :D

Coming to the groom’s suit, hubby was kind of overweight that time. So bringing both sides of the suit together at the tummy and sliding the button on was a challenge. Throughout the wedding he was expecting the button to burst into the altar with a thud and the videographers covering the entire footage in detail, so occasionally I kept reminding him, ‘Hold your breath, Hold it! Hold it!’ . Meanwhile somewhere between the infinite folds, a pin was about to succumb to the weight of my saree. In general, our wedding day was a strength test day for safety pins and buttons.

Nowadays we have readymade blouses which have actually made life much easier. Who would have thought that this day would finally arrive! It has everything inbuilt (if you know what I mean ;-) ) so everyone is happy ( if you know what I really mean *wink* *wink*)! I got mine from Trivandrum when I went blouse shopping with Mummy. Well, I got a lot of time to try and choose the right one, as Mom was there and my son was trying to figure out whether the mannequin near the blouse section was male or female. So in general, peace prevailed during blouse shopping.

The one thing that makes saree impossible for me is the long list of prerequisites that makes it unreasonable and time consuming. I am not very systematic; my things don’t sit in the same designated place every day. Hence I buy dozens of safety pins every year for this purpose, and when I am done, they just vanish into thin air. Which is good because storage space is saved. For the chronically absent-minded person that I am, a checklist should be in place. There is a probability that I may miss something in the checklist itself, so I am off to Google ‘Dummies guide to wearing saree’. 

Okay, then.